Only One Regret
by kat6919
Summary: Sam and Jack come to terms about the feelings they expressed in the Za'tarc testing


Only One Regret ****

Title: Only One Regret

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Author: Kat6919

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Email Address: [kat6919@scifiguide.net][1]

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Status: Complete

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Category: Friendship/Angst

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Pairings: Sam/Jack

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Spoilers: References to events from Broca Divide, Secrets, Forever in A Day, Maternal Instincts, Nemesis and most of Season 4 leading up to Tangent.

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Sequel/Season Info: Set in Season 4. Takes place after the events in Tangent.

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Rating: PG

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Summary: While the team takes some much needed downtime, Sam and Jack finally come to terms with their feelings as expressed in the Za'tarc testing.

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Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.

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Archive: Heliopolis. Anyone else who wants it, just ask.

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Feedback: No flames please, but constructive criticism is welcome. Of course if you just want to let me know that you liked it, that's even better. Just remember this is my first fic.

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Author's Notes: This is how I'd like to see the Sam & Jack issue handled for now, until the end of the show. Thanks to Sazz, for beta reading this over and over and over and over and making sure that it made sense. And thanks to everybody at Starguide forums, who encouraged me to do this and helped me get my feet wet on the round robin fic.

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The jeep pulled up to the cabin and came to a stop. Slowly, the four members of SG-1 climbed out and stretched. They were all looking forward to a week's downtime. Grabbing their duffle bags and some groceries, they walked up to the cabin. As Jack unlocked the door, the others filed in behind him. Dropping their duffles on the floor, they carried the groceries into the kitchen and put them on the table.

"Let's just leave them there for now," Jack said "I'll put them away later." 

"Thanks sir," said Carter "I'm exhausted. Where should I put my things?"

Why don't you take the bedroom to the right of the bathroom. Teal'c, Daniel, you guys can have the other room, it has twin beds and I'll take the pullout sofa out here in the den."

"Sounds good to me," Daniel replied. "C'mon_,_ Teal'c let's get unpacked"

"After you, DanielJackson," said Teal'c, bowing his head slightly and motioning Daniel forward.

The team members wandered off to their respective rooms, leaving Jack in the den. Moving his duffle to the side of the couch, Jack sat for a moment. Dropping his head back, he let his mind wander. He thought about the events of the last few months. His team had been through a difficult time. It seemed like one near disaster after the other. 

First his mind wandered to Daniel. He just couldn't quite figure him out. He seemed a little more distracted than usual and ready to argue every point, even more than he normally did. 

__

'I guess losing Shau'ri permanently affected him more than he's letting on,' thought Jack. _'If it wasn't for finding the Harcesis child, I wonder if he would have stuck around. It just seems like he'd rather be doing something else. Hopefully this week we'll get a chance to reconnect. I hope so.'_

Next his mind wandered to Teal'c. He and Teal'c had grown closer recently. It hadn't been easy. Teal'c was a hard man to get to know, but Jack respected him greatly and his loyalty was beyond question. His help in eliminating the replicators had been invaluable and then of course, there was that whole time loop thingie. He'd have gone crazy if Teal'c hadn't been experiencing the same thing and had been able to back him up and, sympathize with his frustration. 

That's not to say that the time loop didn't have its moments.

Turning the gateroom into a driving range had been one of his better ideas. _'I bet no one else has ever hit a golf ball that far,'_ Jack thought. 

It was also the first time he had seen Teal'c really relax and have fun. He could be so serious sometimes. But then again, Teal'c had a lot to be serious about. He was still dealing with the anger he had toward the traitorous Tok'ra, Tanith, for murdering his lover, Sho'nac. Then recently, he and Teal'c had been trapped in that death glider, on a course for Apophis' homeworld. If it hadn't been for Carter,and Daniel he and Teal'c would be space debris by now. He hoped this week would give Teal'c some much needed relaxation.

Thinking of the rescue brought his thoughts back to Carter. His feelings for her were so complicated he almost didn't know where to start. He'd almost lost her when those armbands of Anise's had quit working. 

'_I don't think I realized how much I cared for her till then,' _ he thought. '_Even so, I managed to bury my feelings under the guise of not wanting to lose any of my teammates.'_

'Then, that whole Zanac thing happened and I had to admit, in a roomful of people no less, that I care about her more than I'm supposed to and she basically admitted the same feelings for me. Then before we could talk about it, she ended up having to shoot Martouf. I know she didn't love him the way Jolinar did, but he was a good friend to her.' 

As he sat there contemplating his feelings for Carter, he thought about the time loop again. The best part had been kissing Carter.That was really something. And she had kissed him back, really kissed him back, like she was enjoying it. He still remembered how it felt. At first she'd been startled, then as he continued kissing her, her arms had wound around his neck, her lips had opened and she began kissing him as if her life depended on it. It had been spectacular. And they hadn't been under the influence of any alien virus either. No, it was just him and Carter, giving in to their true feelings. 

'_I thought old George was going to bust a gut,' thought Jack. 'But the look on Carter's face, before the loop started over again was priceless. I wish I could see that look again, the one that's only for me. But I'm not supposed to think of Carter like that. I'm her CO and she's my 2IC, something neither one of us can forget.'_

'But for a little while we did, when we had our minds wiped on that ice planet. Then we were just Jonah and Thera, two ordinary people who had feelings for each other, feelings we were free to act on. I almost hated to come back to reality, back to CO and 2IC, but we did it, like the good little soldiers we are - we squashed those feelings under all the rules and regulations that say we can't be together.' 

Jack's mind continued to drift. He thought about their most recent adventure. He and Teal'c, in the death glider, on a one way trip to Apophis, with no hope of getting back and then, once again, Carter had saved the day. 

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'I almost died out there,' he thought. _'I almost died, without ever telling her how important she is to me, how glad I am that she's always saving my butt, how much I wish I could just grab her and never let her go. I know I said I care about her, but I've never told her how I really feel, I never actually told her that… I love her. Maybe this week, we can talk - we need to talk, we need to resolve this thing between us. I hope we can...'_

As Jack sat there with his eyes closed, deep in thought, Sam wandered out of the bedroom and into the den. She stopped and watched the colonel for a moment. 

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'I almost lost him this time,' she thought as she looked at his slightly frowning face. Even though his posture was relaxed, he seemed as lost in his thoughts as she was.

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'What if he had died out there. There's so much unresolved between us. Ever since the Za'tarc testing, we haven't had a chance to talk. I know he knows that I care, but I wonder if he knows that I love him, that when we were on that ice planet with all our memories gone, that he was the only thing that felt right to me. We need to talk. Maybe this week we'll get a chance to talk about this thing, whatever it is, between us. I hope so anyway.' 

Clearing her throat gently, so as not to startle him she said, "Colonel, I'm unpacked now. Would you like some help putting away the groceries?" 

Jack opened his eyes and looked at her for a moment, then smiled. "Sure Carter, that would be nice," he said, getting up from the sofa. Walking into the kitchen, they both started rummaging through the grocery bags. "Let's see, what do we have in here?" Jack said while opening one of the bags. "Beer, beer, more beer, ah and here's some wine. Glad to know we included the essentials."

"Well, we are going to be here for a week, sir. Wouldn't want you to run out," Sam replied with a grin.

"Me?" Jack protested. "I don't remember Rolling Rock being my brand."

"Those are mine. I don't want to run out either. The Budweisers are yours sir, and I got the Heinekins for Daniel. I think there's some Coke for Teal'c in there too, and the wine is for whoever wants it," Sam told him. 

"Well, why don't you put the beer in the fridge, and let's see what else we have here. Okay, eggs, cheese, bacon, orange juice, milk…I think we have breakfast covered. Ah, here's the coffee, Starbucks huh, Daniel will be happy. What else, ham, turkey, bread, mayo, tuna fish... well, that covers lunch. Let's see, steaks, potatoes, salad mix, that'll be supper tonight… Jack continued, taking stuff out of the bags and handing them to Sam to put away, all the while keeping up a running commentary on the contents.

When the last bag was emptied, Sam opened the refrigerator and pulled out a beer. "You want one sir?" she asked.

"Sure, sounds good. I wonder what Teal'c and Daniel are up to."

"Let's go see," said Sam, handing him a Budweiser.

Wandering into the den, they found Teal'c, sitting in the recliner, eyes closed, seat back, totally relaxed. He had a small smile on his face as the chair vibrated from the massage unit. 

"Now that, is one happy Jaffa," said Jack. "We may never get him out of that chair this week. He went through a whole roll of quarters for the vibrating bed at the motel in Montana.  I thought we were going to have to take the bed back with us."

Grinning at the Colonel, Sam said, "I don't think I've ever seen Teal'c that relaxed before. Maybe we should get him one of those chairs for his birthday."

"That would be most welcome, MajorCarter," responded Teal'c. "This is a most satisfying way of relaxing. Never, have I seen such a thing before. I may introduce these to the residents of Chulak on my next visit. Our warriors are not used to relaxing, but while on your world, I have developed quite a fondness for it."

Sam started to giggle, a giggle which turned into a full_-_fledged laugh as she caught the colonel's eye. He grinned back at her. Each could tell the other was thinking of the big Jaffa as a Chulakian Lazy Boy salesman.

"I fail to see what is so funny," Teal'c said, raising an eyebrow, as the Major and Colonel began to laugh harder.

"Oh, it's nothing Teal'c," said Jack. "Just imagining you pitching Lazy Boys on Chulak. It made quite a picture."

"I never intended to 'pitch' the recliners O'Neill. They would be quite heavy. I intend to introduce them as a means of relaxation." Teal'c stared at his two friends, as they again broke into fits of laughter. Try as he might, he would never completely understand Tauri humor.

"So Teal'c," said Jack, as the fit of giggling died down. "Where's Daniel?"

"DanielJackson is sleeping," responded Teal'c. "He propped up on some pillows on the bed, said he was going to read a book and the next thing I knew, he was sound asleep."

"Sleep sounds wonderful," said Sam. "I don't think I've slept more than 5 hours a night in weeks. I think I'll take a cue from Daniel and go take a nap."

"Well," said Jack. "While all of you are wasting time sleeping, I'm going to go fishing. Are you sure none of you wants to join me?"

"I do not intend to move from this chair for the next two hours O'Neill," stated Teal'c

"As tempting as that sounds sir, I think the nap sounds better. If you'll wake me in a couple of hours though, I'll help you with dinner," Sam answered, yawning.

"Alright, go ahead, sleep the afternoon away," said Jack with a grin. "I'm going to go catch a fish, maybe even _two_ fish."

"Have a good time, sir," said Sam.

"Oh, I will Carter, I will," Jack said, still grinning.

---- 

Daniel awoke suddenly. Looking around, he tried to remember where he was. As he had fallen asleep with his glasses on, the room came into focus quickly. Now he remembered, he was at Jack's cabin. The last thing he remembered, he was going to read a book. 

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'Guess I was more tired than I realized,' he thought _'Of course it's no surprise, it's not as if I've gotten a lot of sleep recently, it's not like any of us has.' _

As he sat there, trying to wake up, he thought back to recent events. He and his friends had been through so much recently, so many close calls, but this last one had really scared him. 

Jack and Teal'c had almost died. 

If it hadn't been for the hint from Anise as to the whereabouts of Jacob Carter, they would never have reached them in time. He didn't know if he could have handled losing them. 

He'd lost so many people in his life, his mom and dad, Nick, Shau'ri. Losing Jack and Teal'c would have been devastating. Besides looking for the Harcesis child, his teammates were the only thing really keeping him at the SGC, **they** were his family now. 

Jack and Teal'c, the big brothers he had never had, and Sam, well Sam was special. He felt an affinity with her that he had only felt with a few people. She actually understood what he was talking about. He couldn't have asked for a better sister if they had been blood related.

He still remembered the look on Sam's face when the attempt to slingshot the death glider around Jupiter had failed. She had looked so desolate and forlorn. Losing Teal'c would have been bad enough, but losing Jack would have broken her. 

Teal'c had told him, in confidence, what had been said during the second Za'tarc testing. It only served to confirm what Daniel had already suspected. His heart ached for his two friends. 

To finally find the one you were meant to be with, only to be held back by a bunch of rules and regulations, made by a bunch of people miles away, who had no idea what it was like to be put in life or death situations everyday, had to be beyond frustrating. 

But Jack and Sam were good soldiers, military through and through. He had every confidence that they hadn't acted on their feelings, but he knew that this last incident had to have been hard on them_. _

'I wonder if they ever talked about what happened in the Za'tarc testing,' he thought. With Martouf having been shot and the chaos that ensued afterwards, he doubted they had had the time, and if they had remained true to character, they had probably just pushed it into the background. 

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'Let's face it,' he thought._ 'Neither one of them is really great at getting in touch with their feelings. The military's done a great job of teaching them to squash any emotions they might have. They really need to talk, maybe this week they'll get the chance.' _

Realizing that this train of thought was getting him nowhere, he decided to get up and see what everyone else was doing.

As Daniel walked into the den, Teal'c, still sitting in the massage recliner, opened his eyes. 

"Did you sleep well DanielJackson?" he asked.

"Pretty good, although I think the position I was in has left my neck a little stiff," he answered, rotating his shoulders and rubbing his neck. "Where are Jack and Sam?" 

"MajorCarter is following your example and is sleeping. Colonel O'Neill has gone fishing," answered Teal'c.

"What, and you didn't go with him? I thought you wanted Jack to teach you earth customs Teal'c," Daniel said with a grin.

"Fishing is not a custom that I wish to develop an acquaintance with, DanielJackson. I have watched it on your television nature shows. Very infrequently, does one actually catch a fish. I fail to see what sitting beside a pond, throwing a line in and dragging it back out accomplishes. O'Neill says it doesn't matter if you catch a fish or not, it is the act of fishing. His logic is flawed at times," stated Teal'c.

"Aw, c'mon,Teal'c, it's supposed to be fun," teased Daniel. "You do know what fun is, don't you?"

"On Chulak, we have other methods of achieving 'fun' as you put it. They are methods that actually achieve a purpose in the process," said Teal'c.

"Well, I guess fishing can accomplish a purpose," said Daniel. "After all, if you catch something, then you have dinner."

"We already have dinner in the refrigerator, DanielJackson. Why do we need to catch it?" asked Teal'c.

"Oh, Teal'c," Daniel said, shaking his head and sighing. "You really need to loosen up."

"I am not tight, DanielJackson, why do I need to loosen up?"

"It's just an expression," said Daniel. "Haven't you ever done something, just for the sheer enjoyment of doing it, just because it was fun?"

"Not to my knowledge," replied Teal'c. "On Chulak, everything we do has a purpose."

"Well, fortunately we're not on Chulak," Daniel responded, with an amused expression in his eyes, mimicking Teal'c words to Colonel Mayborne a couple of years earlier. "At least you look like you're enjoying the recliner. Well, while you relax and Sam sleeps, I think I'll go see if Jack's caught anything." 

Leaving Teal'c, with a puzzled expression, Daniel walked outside. There on the dock, he saw Jack, sitting back in a lounge chair, methodically throwing out the fishing line and reeling it back in. Walking up behind him, he cleared his throat, not wanting to startle Jack. "Hey Jack, caught anything yet?"

Jack looked up and grinned at the archaeologist. "Not yet, I'm just practicing. The fish don't really start biting until about dusk. It's just relaxing, throwing the line in and reeling it back." 

"I just spoke with Teal'c," said Daniel, dragging another lounge chair over. "He says your logic is flawed. Fishing for no reason, in his opinion, is useless."

Taking a sip from his beer bottle, Jack chuckled. "Yeah, Teal'c definitely needs to relax. He seems to like the massage recliner though. I doubt we'll get him out of it this week, especially not to do something as illogical as fishing."

"I told him he needed to loosen up and he informed me he was not tight. Earth expressions just seem to go over his head sometimes," Daniel said with a grin. "I'm sure this week will be quite enlightening for him._"_ Reaching into the cooler that was sitting on the dock, Daniel pulled out a beer. "Ah, Heineken, my favorite."

"Yeah, Carter bought those especially for you," Jack told him.

"Speaking of Sam, have you guys talked since we got back from space?" asked Daniel, always one to get right to the point.

"Sure we've talked, we're on the same team, we always talk," said Jack.

"No Jack, I mean really talked, about how you feel about each other," said Daniel.

"What do you mean, how we feel about each other? asked Jack. " We're teammates. We're friends. I'm her CO, she's my 2IC, what's there to talk about?" 

"Jack, I know about the Za'tarc testing, what you and Sam were forced to admit," Daniel said, keeping his eyes on Jack.

Jack looked startled "How? You weren't even there, and we both agreed to leave it in the room."

"Teal'c told me," Daniel answered. "He thought I should know as it might affect the team dynamics. But I have to admit, I suspected you guys had feelings for each other before that. You should have seen Sam when you were trapped on Edora, she worked so hard to bring you back. I don't think she realized until then how much she cared about you. And you, well, you're always watching her when you don't think anyone else is looking. I doubt many people would pick up on it, but hey we're friends, we notice things about each other that nobody else does."

"So? What difference does it make? It doesn't really matter how we feel," Jack said dejectedly. "The Air Force says we can't be together, not if we want to stay on the same team."

"That is so stupid," said Daniel. "What do a bunch of men in Washington know about feelings? They don't live in constant danger all the time, putting their lives on the line, never knowing if this day is the day you get blown away by some alien, no one outside a select few know about."

"Daniel," said Jack. "The regulations are there for a reason. Carter and I knew the regulations when we joined up, we agreed to follow them."

"Since when have you been so big on regulations? I seem to remember you being willing to break them before."

"That was different," Jack responded. "Those were life or death matters. I had to make a quick decision based on the circumstances at the time. Somehow, I seriously doubt if a relationship between me and Carter would be considered a life or death matter."

"I guess that depends on how you look at it," Daniel said, looking down at his beer. "I know that my love for Shau'ri made me feel more alive than I've ever felt before, and when I lost her I felt completely dead inside. I just feel that when you find the right person, you should grab hold and hang on tight. Life is too short to not seize every moment. Especially considering what we do. If I've learned nothing else, I've learned that." 

"It's not that simple Daniel. If Carter and I were involved, I might be inclined to put her first at the expense of you and Teal'c. Then we would no longer be a team. We'd just be four people working together." 

"I understand that, but why can't you guys get assigned to different teams?"

"You'd be willing to split up our team?" Jack asked, incredulously.

"It's not that I want us to split up, you guys are the closest thing to family I've got, but I'd be willing to do it, if it meant you and Sam could be together," Daniel said, still looking down. "Everyone deserves to be happy at least once in their life. I've had my chance. As hard as the past few years have been, I wouldn't change it if it meant that I never met and fell in love with Shau'ri. How could I deny my friends the same opportunity for happiness?"

"Oh Daniel, you really are a born romantic," Jack said, smiling at his friend, finding himself touched by Daniel's words. "I appreciate what you're saying and believe it or not I've considered the possibility. But I keep coming back to the same conclusion. See, as much as I'd like to be in a relationship with Carter, I need her on my team even more. I need her there to come up with a last minute solution to save our butts. And I need her there where I know she's okay, where I know she's working with the best. And we are the best and we're the best for a reason. The four of us work as a unit, each one adding certain strengths to the whole. I won't jeopardize that, by getting involved with my 21C. What we do is too important. Maybe in the future, when this war with the Goa'uld is over, maybe then if we still feel the same and we're still here, then something can happen."

"I guess I see where you're coming from," Daniel sighed, then took a sip from his beer before continuing, "but it's still the pits."

"Yeah, I know," Jack agreed. "But it's a decision I can live with."

"Can I ask you one more question?" Daniel said, meeting Jack's eyes again.

"Sure." 

"Well, I know that in the Za'tarc test you guys admitted that you had feelings for each other, but have you actually told her that you love her?" Daniel asked. 

"No, I haven't," Jack answered, surprised. _'Jeez Danny, get right to the punch, don't you?' _ he thought.

"Don't you think you should? Shouldn't she at least know that, in case anything happens?" Daniel asked.

Jack thought for a moment. "Yeah, you're probably right," he finally said with a sigh.

"Then I guess you guys really do need to talk, huh?" said Daniel

"Yeah, I guess we do."

-----

Later, that evening, after the dinner dishes were cleared up, Teal'c and Daniel sat in the den, playing an Egyptian game called 'The Jackal and The Hound', that Daniel had brought along. Sam had gone to take a shower and Jack, feeling bored and restless, had grabbed a beer and wandered outside.

Coming out of the bathroom, dressed in jeans and an old sweatshirt, Sam walked into the den to find Daniel and Teal'c arguing good naturedly, over a particular move that Teal'c had made. 

Walking over, Sam looked down at the board. She didn't know much about this game, but it looked similar to chess, something she was very good at. _'I'll have to get Daniel to teach me sometime'_ she thought.

"Hey guys," she said. "Having fun?"

"This is a most enjoyable game MajorCarter. You must have DanielJackson teach you to play sometime," Teal'c told her.

"I was just thinking the same thing," said Sam.

"Would you care to take my place?" asked Teal'c.

"Not right now. I don't feel like straining my brain at the moment. I just want to relax. By the way," she asked, looking around the room "where's the Colonel?"

"I think he got bored, watching me and Teal'c. Last I saw, he was heading outside," Daniel said.

"That sounds nice. I think I'll go see what he's up to," said Sam "You guys play nice now, okay."

"We will," Daniel answered distractedly, studying the game, his mind on his next move.

Sam wandered into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of wine. Taking it with her, she stepped outside. Looking around, she saw the Colonel sitting on the edge of the dock, with his feet dangling over the edge. Walking over to the dock, she sat down next to him, hanging her feet over the edge. "Mind if I join you?"

"No, not at all," Jack responded. "Have a seat," he indicated the spot she had already taken without waiting for his reply. "I was just sitting here, listening to the night sounds. It's peaceful, you know."

"Yeah, it is," said Sam "My dad used to take me and Mark fishing when we were younger. I used to like sitting outside at night, listening to the crickets and tree frogs. Those were some great times."

They sat there in silence for a while, sipping their drinks, absorbing the peacefulness. All of a sudden a loon cried out. 

"Listen to that, he sounds so lonely," said Jack, looking out over the water.

"Yeah, I know how he feels," Sam responded quietly.

"You feel lonely Carter?" asked Jack. 

"Sometimes," she said softly. "I love my job, I love what we do, and you, Daniel and Teal'c are like family but sometimes, I just want more."

"Like what?" 

"Like someone to come home to, someone to hold me at night, someone to wake up to in the morning, someone like…" she trailed off.

"Someone like who?" he prompted.

"Someone like… you," she said. '_Oh god, I can't believe I said that_,' she thought. Staring out over the water, she nervously waited for his response.

Jack sighed. "Oh Carter, you don't know how much I'd like to be that someone. I'd like to be there when you come home, go to sleep holding you at night, wake up to see those beautiful blue eyes staring at me in the morning, but we can't."

"I know that sir, but it doesn't stop me from wishing," she said, her voice soft. "The Air Force can't court martial me for wishing."

"No they can't, can they," said Jack, looking at her profile, her skin pale in the moonlight. "I guess that means they can't court martial me for wishing either."

They sat there in silence for a while, both thinking about a future that they both wanted but weren't sure if they could ever have. 

"Sometimes, I wish we could just go back to being Jonah and Thera," said Sam, breaking the silence "It was a lot less complicated. I know it was a hard life, but there was nothing stopping me from loving you. As long as I did my job, I was free to express my feeling for you in my spare time. It was really hard to adjust when we got our memories back. That's when the loneliness really hit, that's when I really knew what I was missing."

"It was hard for me too," Jack responded. "In a way, I liked being Jonah. It was so much easier, no tough decisions to make. Just do my job and be with you. You know, sometimes regulations really suck."

"Yes sir, but they're there for a reason, a reason I agree with," she said.

"I know, and I don't have any intention of breaking them, but they still suck." 

"Yes sir, they do," she agreed.

Again the silence descended. They both sat there contemplating what had been said. Never before had they talked this much about their feelings. It wasn't something they were used to. They were soldiers after all, trained to think logically, to follow the rules, to ignore any feelings they might have. But sometimes logic and rules failed to take into account the human heart. And right now, these two particular hearts were hurting.

"Carter," said Jack, breaking the silence again. "I want to tell you something."

"Okay."

"This last mission, it really scared me. I almost died. If it hadn't been for you and another last minute rescue, I would have been history. I don't think I ever said thank you."

"It wasn't necessary sir, I know how you feel," Sam told him gently.

"Do you?" asked Jack.

"Sure," she said. "So do several other people since the Za'tarc testing."

"But Carter," he said. "Do you **really** know how I feel?"

"What are you trying to say, sir?" she asked, turning her head to look at him.

"What I'm trying to say is… that when I was floating out in space, thinking that there was no hope of a rescue I had a lot of time to think," he said, meeting her eye. "All in all, except for a couple of bad spots, I've had a pretty good life. I've done pretty much everything I wanted to do. Sitting up there in space, I could think of only one real regret that I have. Only one thing that I wished that I had done, that I hadn't ever done, something that I need to do now."

"What's that sir?" Sam asked, as she continued to stare at him. 

"You know during the whole Zanac thing…"

"Za'tarc sir," she said with a small smile.

"Whatever. Anyway, I know that I said that I care about you a lot more than I'm supposed to, and that's true. But what I feel for you goes way beyond that. I didn't think I would ever feel this way about anyone ever again, I didn't think it was possible, anyway I guess… what I'm trying to say is that…. I… love you."

"You love me?" she asked, unable to mask the surprise in her voice.

"Yeah, I do," said Jack. "Is that okay?"

"Of course it's okay, I just never expected to hear you say it."__A note of surprise was still in her voice.__ "You know, when you were lost in that ship, I didn't know what to do. All I could think about was that somehow I had to get you back. I couldn't let you die out there, not ever knowing how I really feel."

"So Carter, how **do** you really feel?" he asked.

"I love you too, sir."

"So, where does that leave us?" he asked. 

"I don't know," she said. "I don't want to split up the team and as long as we're a team we can't be together."

"I know. I told Daniel earlier, that there's no way I'd split up the team over this." 

"You talked to Daniel about this?" she asked, incredulously. "How did he know about it?"

"Teal'c told him. He thought Daniel should know. He was probably right. Anyway, Daniel thought we should go for it, seize the day so to speak. He was willing to split up the team for us to be happy." said Jack.

"Well, that's Daniel for you, a born romantic," she said, echoing what Jack had said to their friend earlier. "But you told him no, right?"

"Right," he said "I told him that I needed you on my team. I need you there to save my butt. And I need to know that when you're out there putting your life on the line you're working with the best and that's our team. As much as I want a relationship with you Carter, I want you on my team even more."

"I know," she said "I need to know that you're okay when you're on a mission too, and the only way I'll know that for sure is if I'm with you. I'm not willing to give that up either."

"So again, where does that leave us?" he asked.

"As friends," she said "really good friends, with the potential for much more in the future."

"So you think we've got potential, huh?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes sir, I think we do," she answered, a small, pensive smile passing over her lips. "After all this war can't last forever, its got to end sometime."

"And when it does," his dark eyes mirrored hers. "You wanna explore this potential you think we have?" he asked.

"Yes sir, I think I do," she answered, her eyes bright, reflecting the light of the moon and the stars.

"Sweet." He grinned at her and thought, _'one day Carter, one day…"_

   [1]: mailto:kat6919@scifiguide.net



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